Someone got mad at me and unfriended me on Facebook, after leaving a scathing public message on my Wall.

We got home from family dinner at his sister’s house last night, the dinner had been delicious, the family was fun, we all had fun and talked and laughed at, and like a good little social addict I checked Facebook to see if anything of dire import had occurred in my absence – and it had. The mother of a guy I know (guy is 23, mother lives in an entirely different state) stuck a very vicious post on my Wall denouncing me as untrustworthy, cruel, nosy, gossipy, and a saboteur. Aside from the fact that “saboteur” is an awesome word, I was shocked deeply and hurt and shaken and then, very very upset. She didn’t even use “saboteur”, I just did.  See, this lady is denouncing me for gossip. But any method that she would have used to gain knowledge of . . .well, anything to suggest this action necessary, was: word of mouth, i.e. gossip. So there’s one piece of nonsense. The other is that the last line she wrote, right after publicly saying she’s going to unfriend me, was an injunction to all readers to pray for me. Why would she say that? Because her husband was the pastor of a small church I used to attend. It was a home church, in their house. And therefore, we’re all Christians here and the only way to justify such horribleness is to make it holy by reminding everyone that she’s only doing what God would want her to do, and we can know this because she remembers to ask us all to pray for such a betraying, lying, conniving, cruel beast as myself.  I am amazed.  I am not going to say that I’ve never been that self-righteous. I am not going to say that I am somehow better than her, although I would reeeeeally enjoy that.  I think I secretly believe that I am, because I’m not going to respond to her. I’m just being upset over here, on a blog that acts more like a diary without a lock than a real blog that other people read, instead of wailing on a public media that she can actually access. I’m being the bigger person and I feel good about it; then I feel rather arrogant that I’m the one deeming myself the bigger person, as if anyone has ever asked me if I’m better than/bigger than her or anyone else.  This situation is ridiculous. And the thing is? There is no “situation”.  It’s upsetments and perceived slights based off of hearsay. I haven’t spoken directly to the guy for over a month, and before that for at least three if not more.  I want to know where I acquired all this power to damage people from such a distance, because I know I left behind my days of willful cruelty once I got through therapy.
What I didn’t get therapy for was minor obsessive behavior. I cannot stop myself from checking Facebook over and over. I want to know what people think of what she said to me. I want other people to comment on her public denouncement and be horrified so I can feel justified and loved.  I can only barely keep myself from reading her words over and over, and that because I cannot fathom my own motivation. I know I am not acting and feeling in an upright fashion, but I am not responding to her and I asked Nikolai to not defend me, either.  I don’t want my husband spending his beautiful words and depth of wisdom on someone who is going to discredit him through his marriage to me.
He just came out to the living room and said, “I’m sad now. . . because when we drive through AZ we won’t have friends to stay with or visit. And I like [her husband] and his brother-in-law!”
Luckily, I have some friends of my own in that particular state and they’ve known me for years and are rather awesome. I am not concerned about our potential future country-wide road trip.

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