I’ve had this blog for about five months and I’m already tired of it.  I think the title is childish and ridiculous. I think I was trying too hard when I named it and may have named it after the first cute thing that climbed into my lap and tried to sit on my fingers and eat the words I typed as they appeared on the screen.  So now I want to move over to Blogger from WordPress, because my husband and friends friends (yes those are two separate links, not a spazzy typo) are over there, and I want to be there because it’s the cool thing to do with all the cool kids and I want a cool new name and I want to be less uncool.  That is how I feel when I check out other people’s blogs.  They choose childhood nicknames that aren’t dumb or creative names that mean something or sound funny when spoken, or they do pop culture references except they do classic ones so we all get the joke.  And I don’t.  And then I wallow in it.  Can you feel the wallowing (toniiiiight)?  Wow, I am whiny.  And cheesy.  But that is not the delicious personality pairing that it is, in food.  I’m cranky, too.   Can you tell?

It’s sad because Nick was so great last night.  We played backgammon (after he taught me backgammon) and had lasagna from a box and enjoyed each others’ company and played on our respective computers, and then I got sad and clingy.  It was like I went through all my personal stages of drunk (I only had one drink, WITH  food) really fast and ended up at the end stage of weepy and clingy.  At 9:30pm.  I sat on the floor next to Nick’s computer chair and took his hand and pulled him down to cuddle on the floor.  If he tried to move I whimpered, and he was very justifiably confused because he’d been giving me plenty of attention that evening already.  I still don’t know what was up with me, but I’m guessing PMS.  So, Nick picked me up from the floor (and I am of German engineering so this was pretty cool), carried me into our room, helped me put on my pajamas and get under the covers, and then he cuddled me till I got sleepy.  Then he went back out, came to bed around midnight (I didn’t know that until this morning), and left the kitchen stove light on.  I woke up at 3, saw the light on, thought he was still out there and freaked out that he was not in bed at 3AM before looking more closely at his side of the bed, and NOTICING THE OTHER HUMAN SLEEPING RIGHT THERE.  Not exactly rocket science, but it was 3am and I was confused and sleepy.  Woke up again at 5 to go to the bathroom, woke up at 6, waited for the alarm at 6:45, got out of bed unwillingly at 7.  I was mad.  I had no reason to be mad, but I was.  And, I was mad at Nick.  He cuddled me and tucked me into bed when I was senselessly emotional and messy.  He cuddled me this morning, because he remembered previous upsetments on that score.  And I got up and was mad at him.  Couldn’t figure it out!  PMS, anyone?  Gah, mood swings are the suck!  So I’m hoping my daily life-savers, my B-vitamins will assist me in the feeling of the normal.

I must say, it’s harder to be honest here now that I know actual people are actually reading.  And possibly judging me because of how silly and pointless the writing is, and how uncool  my blog name is.  But there are no vicious comments so that is nice.  Except there are no comments, so that is sad.  Hmmm.

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