June 2010


Galore is an awesome word.

In my . . . marriage, I have noticed from the start the importance of communication.  See, if we just keep on keeping on with whatever works best for us as individuals, then we’re not really doing anything. . . special, together.  We need to look beyond ourselves and see what works for the other person.  However, in a . . . delicate situation,  it can be difficult to come up with adequate verbiage.  Searching for words becomes more difficult if one is . . . distracted.  Today, while spending “personal time” together, we improved our communication!  Nick lit upon three or four two-word phrases that can be of use in most . . . situations.  It was quite a breakthrough.  A little bit of gentle . . . coaching, and he is now equipped to tell me, easily and comfortably, what he wants.  This may sound elementary to you, my dear Watson, but we’re three and a half months into this lifetime so I’m counting every little . . .victory.

p.s. I absolutely think I’m funny.

I finished wrister #1 while watching a tv series on Netflix for Xbox.  I will post pictures when I have both done.

We discovered a tv series we like besides Man vs. Wild – we also like The Dresden Files.  It’s a fantasy series in which the main character is a wizard.  Part of my argument to convince Nick to like it was that Nicolas Cage is one of the executive producers.

The wedding party happened yesterday.  That is to say, the reception my mother in-law wanted to throw to invite and include all the people Nick didn’t consider close enough to invite to our wedding because even though they could be considered close familialy, they’re not close to him in like a relationship type way, happened yesterday.  I got to wear my dress again and put on big fake lashes, and Nick looked just delicious in his slacks, pewter shirt, and vest.  He had the sleeves rolled to the elbow, and the collar and vest unbuttoned.  I got a little drooly over him at several different times.  You guys, I cannot count how many times I was asked “is that your wedding dress?”  Yes, this long, lacy, very bridal looking garment is my wedding dress.  No, just kidding.  I wore it to prom in 1940.  Seriously, SO MANY PEOPLE asked.  It was lots of fun, some of our friends showed up so that was pretty awesome.  Also, there was champagne-punch.  Woo!  Double also, there were tagyak and yolanchi, grape leaf rollup things and a couple other Armenian foods that Nick loves and at least one he doesn’t.  I ate all those for him.  For dessert, there was a meringue/raspberry/chocolate/cream trifle that started out as an entirely different dessert, but whatevs.  Don’t fight a good thing!  She even made chocolate fondue.  Wow.  After most of the people had gone, we changed clothins and jumped into the pool.  I considered jumping in with my dress, but no one was there with a decent camera and eye to take the ooooo pics.  Also, I didn’t want to asplode my dress.  It is delicate and pretty and I was afraid of chlorine messing it all up.

Then there were presents.  OH YEAH!!!  The (mostly) whole reason I went along with the idea!  More loot, man!  We finally got a blender, no more chewing ice for us!  Okay I’m done with the exclamation points.  I think I just gave myself a headache, reading back over that.  Anyway, we got more stuff and it was all lovely and the party went well and then we came home with Older Sister and Boyfriend trailing behind.  We watched Man vs. Wild.  Bear Grylls is just a little dollface!  (Crap, exclamation point.  I fail)  Older Sister had to resist the freakout urge when Bear decided to follow a river under a mountain instead of climbing said mountain, and then he squeezed through a pretty tight passage and dove under a wall to see if they could get out with the water.  Older Sister is a wee bit claustrophobic, you see.  Hugs don’t always work for her.  She was breathing pretty forcefully. . . I got worried.  And by worried, I mean I teased her about it.

I remember the evolution of daydreams throughout my life.  When I was a child, 8ish, I thought that 16 was old and 18 was incredible and 20 was when The Decline began.  I remember daydreaming about “my boyfriend” that I would surely have by 16, because why not?  It is the thing to do.  That same boyfriend (my high school sweetheart, if you must know) was no more than 2 years older than me and would propose once I had graduated high school and we’d be married before I was 20.  I’d pop out all my kids before I turned 25 and lost my will to live, and then . . . everything gets hazy after that because imagining 25 was really pushing it.

In high school, when I realized my school was so small that the thought of dating anyone in it felt vaguely like incest, I had to modify my daydreams.  Obviously, “my boyfriend” was not my high school sweetheart.  He was my college sweetheart.  We had wonderful times in college together, and then he proposed by the time I was 20 and we were married by 21.  College graduation was not important in the face of Marriage!  Shortly thereafter I’d start popping out those kids, because in my epic righteousness and Trusting Of The Lord, I would not be using birth control of any kind.  And then it gets fuzzy again, right around 25.

Then I graduated high school and did not go to college.  Oh noes!  Whatever will I doooo?  My daydreams had to modify once more.  I would meet a nice boy at church!  We would date for not very long, be engaged for not very long, get married and start popping out those kids!  Perfect.  Unfortunately, I became a nanny for 6 months after high school.  Suddenly, I saw the reality of a newborn and a two year-old and it made my brain melt.  I decided that maybe, just maybe, that nice church boy would be willing to wait for a while to, you know, meet.  I thought it would be okay to be having the kids in my thirties.  Maybe.  I thought I might want to do things, travel, put together the colorful life that so far existed only in my mind.  I was going to a couple of different churches (not for the boys, I swear) and man, I was fine just meeting new people.  I liked that whole,”being social” thing.  It was fun!

Then, oh then, there was Nikolai.  I had known him from one of the churches years previous, and had seen him around at a bible study from time to time.  I had even had a crush on him.  He was amazingly inaccessible, so how could I not pine for him?  The crush waned and I was able to not blush in his presence, and then he was just another dude.  Until he asked me out.  Well, he asked me to hang out. I thought it was casual and friendly, he decided it was more purposeful, either way there was a third person attending that had no idea he was on a date.  With the advent of dating Nick (I had no idea we were an item for a good couple o’ weeks) my daydreams changed again.  I imagined having a colorful life with him.  There was traveling to undisclosed places (I’ve never been there, how can I imagine what it looks like?), adventures of many kinds, and lots of smiling.  The whole marriage thing was only whispered, even in my mind.  I didn’t want to presume and scare him off.  I hadn’t had much experience with males, but I’d heard they were skittish.  My dreams went from a fluffy cloud wedding and babies right away to an evening mist wedding and babies in 3 years to an afternoon highly stressful wedding and babies in five years.  Finally, reality came along.

Our evening wedding, Southern style, was small and just right.  Our birth control lasts for ten years, so we’ll look at babies then.  Our life is very real, there aren’t clouds and misty fuzz.  The color we have is from small walks together or trying a new restaurant or bar.  We haven’t done much traveling yet, except for Disneyworld for our honeymoon, but we’ve only been married for three months.  I think it’ll come with time.

I guess what I was going for with this one was to express how my dreams changed and realized and solidified.   I wanted to express the disillusionment I felt when my fluffy cloud dreams didn’t materialize the second we married.  I love my life, my husband.  I just had a lot of adjusting to do to accept this life and to not try to create my daydreams that were so absurd and impossible.

Last night, there was awesomeness.  Last night, we went swimming and we barbecued.  Last night,  we did those things at Nick’s parents’ house and were accompanied by KATIE AND JESSE!  They live about five minutes away from us, but we rarely see them and I’m not sure why.  But, these last two days I’ve seen Katie, and last night was so much fun and very amusing, because Katie is a total card.  I have to confess that i don’t quite know the exact definition of “card” in this context, but I have heard/read it used in a similar context about other people (okay maybe in 19th century novels) and I think I got it right.  We jumped into the pool which was a stunningly perfect 81 degrees, and goofed around and Jesse tried to push Katie in, but she shrieked and pinched him and giggled nervously and then I think she pushed him in.  So I charged at her and suddenly pop!  She was in the water.  Katie doesn’t subscribe to sound effect norms.  don’t box her in!  We even attempted to have a chicken fight, but I kept laughing so hard I fell off of Nick straight forward and drowned him repeatedly by clenching his poor neck with my thighs and holding him underwater.  Eventually the game ended with both of us girls pushing each other in the boobs (they were closest) and falling into the water one after the other.  Katie and Jesse fell first, though.  So we won.  Then Nick got frostbite so he started up the barbecue.  Seriously, when it’s his idea, he loves being the host, making the food, all that jazz.  He glows like a pregnant woman, he’s so proud of himself.

During and after our late dinner we talked about shoes and ships and sealing wax, and almost went on to cabbages and kings but got distracted by sharing drama horror stories, like the time I got unfriended on Facebook.  They talked about the time they got excommunicated.  I am ashamed to say that I believed what I was told about them during that time, and didn’t even think of talking to them and hearing from their own lips what had happened.  It was hours of good talk, and I killed another few mosquitoes on Katie’s boob and arm and leg.  Most of all, I felt vindicated.  Here were people that didn’t think my actions, reactions, and choices were melodramatic or jaded, they even agreed with me.  They told me I wasn’t crazy.  They told me that they understood my decisions.  They told me that I was okay, and that was invaluable.  I started out thinking I’d just ooze wonder and joy at how great it was to spend a large amount of time with these people, and now here I am getting all emotional that they were so kind.  It got dark and late, so we had to go.

Oh!  In the middle of it all, Katie and I were talking about something and the menfolks were talking about something else, but when we rejoined their conversation Jesse said something that Katie had phrased differently shortly previous.  She said, “Hey, I just said that!  We totally agree!”  He said, “Wow, that’s neat.  We should date!  Do you want to go out sometime?”  She looked at her left hand and said, “Yeah!  Oh, I’ll have to ask my husband.”  He said, “It’s okay; I’m married, too. ”  They’re silly together, and funny, and I probably laughed harder at that little interchange than I should have.  But that’s just how they are, HILARIOUS.  I end up helplessly giggling about 85% of the time I am in Katie’s company.  She has a great range of facial expressions and vocal intonations that seem made for comedic purpose.  Jesse has gotten more silly and lighthearted with her, he’ll initiate jokes and go along with whatever bit she’s doing at the time.  I felt rested after the evening with them, and I think that’s remarkable because I had been splashing around in the pool for long enough to exhaust me.  So, at least 5 minutes.

When we were home and in bed and getting dozy, Nick cuddled up to me and whispered a question.  Apparently, the intense conversations about drama earlier in the evening had really shaken him up, and he was trying to reconcile what he remembered of those people with what he now knew of them.  I count times like these as beautiful not because my husband is deeply upset, but because he talks to me and wants me to help.  And I love helping.  I get to cuddle closer (although I’m not sure that’s a physical possibility) and twirl his hair and tell him that he is a good man, and he is honest and truthful.  That those people made their own choices and their behaviors are not reflections of him, nor does it speak poorly of him to have believed them for what they said they were.  I may have said other things but I was pretty tired and mostly asleep so I don’t remember.

At Starbucks last night, as we knitted away like three goodnatured spinsters, we were discussing funny things found on the internet.  Katie mentioned Samwise This clip, and we giggled about it.  I then mentioned a clip I had found ages ago, but now it is lost.  I may have to search my myspace for it, cos I’m pretty sure I sent it to someone there.

In other news, it appears that I will not be able to watch my favorite show, So You Think You Can Dance, because the broadcasting company doesn’t put full episodes online and hulu.com doesn’t have them, either!  I am sadface.  I love So You Think You Can Dance!  I love it so much I don’t even use the lamesauce acronym!  I love watching the different styles of dancing, seeing the creative mix of movement and music, daydreaming that I can somehow move like that also, allowing the grace and stories of the dances to affect me emotionally.  Also, seeing all those tight, strong, trim dancers’ bodies makes me want to exercise to the point that I actually exercise, so that is a GOOD THING.  And the internet is trying to keep all of this happiness from me.  Bad internet.  No biscuit!

OHMYGESH I FOUND THAT CLIP.  KatieSusieoregon!  Watch this it’s what I tried to describe last night and kept stuttering and failing and looking confused!

LOTR ewAhhhhh.  I feel better now.

Oh yeah, it happened.  Katie invited me to a craft night with Susieoregon.  We drove around and giggled and then settled on a local park that claimed awesomeness because it had a bench-swing!  We sat on the bench swing, knitting away like giddy grandmothers in-training, until I killed a mosquito on Katie’s shoulder.  And then another that was biting my arm.  And then I almost killed a third but it was flying really close to Katie’s boob and while we’re good pals, I don’t think she’d take it kindly if I thwapped her right on the boob.  So that one got away, but Susieoregon got bit as well so we fled to an obliging Starbucks.  The other two toted their beverages from Dairy Queen, but I bought a token drink so we didn’t feel as lamesauce hanging out in there.   I got about 1 1/2 ” done on the wrister that I started and made a thumbhole three times and then undid twice and restarted, and now I think I just might make more progress.  Weee!

This morning after Nick left for work, I was washing dishes and I realized something.  We had 5 dirty wine glasses, and 2 dirty water glasses.  What does that say about us?

What it says is that water glasses are reused because they don’t look gross but wine leaves a creepy residue at the bottom. . .

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