My quads hurt.  My hip hurts.  I am tired.  Yesterday morning I put my workout gear on and walked out the door with Nick, striding beside him down the stairs, grinning like an idiot because honey, do you see me?  Walking outside with you?  I’m not on the balcony waving, hehehehehe I’m RIGHT HERE next to you.  He went to the car, and I veered off for the elementary school across the street and down a ways, where I planned to eat children attempting to learn during the summertime.  No, I wanted to use their track to worky outy.  You know, since I like to freak out about my appearance?  I walked one lap, jogged one lap, considered passing out so I wouldn’t have to feel my lungs burning and hear my breath whistling through my nose and throat, walked one lap, jogged one lap, scratched myself all over my tummy, bum and thighs because the jogging causes the fat there to bounce up and down violently and yank on the overlying skin, and walked home.  I didn’t even take a nap yesterday, and since we invited a couple over for vodka daquiris and munchies and comedians, that really would have been a good plan.

However, after our first two batches of blended drinks, we ran out of ice so the four of us tipsily scampered across the road to the wonderful gas station to get a bag of ice!  The dude stiffed me on my change, too.  He was watching me to see if I’d challenge him on it.  Buddy, tipsy though I be, I KNOW that the proper change for a $1.49 charge out of $2 is $.51, not $.50.  You’re a jerk.  Give me my damn penny and quit judging me.  I didn’t bother with it though, and I miss my penny.  Anyway.  I stayed up till midnight, and then as the demon alcohol fled my body, I steadily climbed in ambient body temperature until I restlessly awoke at 4:30am, turned over, smiled into Nick’s likewise open eyes, kicked off that stupid blanket, stumbled to the kitchen, and drank the nectar of the gods – water.  Nick turned on the air conditioner, tilted our white noise fan so it hit me, and went back to sleep.  I tried, too.  Then I had to wake up.  And again, when the teakettle wouldn’t stop screaming.  I am tired.

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