I upped the ante with my workout this morning.  I jogged two laps consecutive!  It was a very big deal to me, cos previously I had only been able to handle one and a half laps before collapsing and wheezing as my lungs thought about exploding; today I made it through two!  And then my lungs thought about exploding.  As I jog I have to distract myself from the distance I have yet to go otherwise I’d get overwhelmed and just stop altogether, so I count my steps to pace my breathing, 3 in – 3 out, I ask myself silly questions, “why is that branch in the middle of the field,” “What will we do on our camping trip in September,” “If I pass out and lie down will the crows come eat me,” and I stare at the ground directly in front of my feet.

I don’t like running, cats and kittens.  I realllly don’t.  I understand it’s good for me, I further understand that it is the simplest and most accessible form of cardiopulmonary conditioning and exercise I have available to me.  I still don’t like it.

Running hurts, and not in a nice way.  After those two laps, my breath was whistling and wheezing through my nose and throat, and the air felt as if it were drying out and scraping my nasal passages.  Also, I started to smell odd things, like my own blood or tuna fish.  There is no tuna fish.  I am not bleeding.  I thought about having a stroke, because the funky smells thing is supposed to be a symptom, but alas, I was not dying, just exercising.

Another thing is that when I run I look like a total doofus.  You’d think that running wouldn’t be a skill one needs to be taught, and you’d be right.  When one is fleeing a bear, one runs perfectly well.  Instinct and terror take over and move the body as efficiently and expediently as possible.  HOWEVER, when one is running at a slower pace for the purpose of exercise, etc, those lovely forces of nature aren’t in action to make one graceful and awesome.  Non-emergency running is actually a skill that should be taught, mostly because of those others in the world who are like me.  I have arms that don’t always work at the same time as my legs, or they stiffen up, or I hold my hands at an odd angle, and my legs either shuffle or parade march without actually taking note of the terrain.  So I’ll be jogging up the slight incline of the CHILDREN’S ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TRACK and I’ll stumble, right after calming down my knees that were making passes at my shoulders.  I do not like an audience, because knowing I am being watched makes my limbs act out like attention-starved teenage boys.  The flailing and jumping is not something I’d like people to know about me.  I keep doing it, because a week or two ago when I started jogging I could only do one lap and then the wheezes and dry nose-regions happened, and today I could do two.

Advertisements