(Squeamish is an awesome word)

Lately, the bathroom drains have been clogging.  Showering required standing in a puddle of soap runoff up to one’s ankles, and toothpaste residue took ten whole minutes to disappear.  The grossness was so severe I was doing whatever I could to avoid showering, and I was brushing my teeth at the kitchen sink instead.  Nick called me one day and told me he had fixed the shower.  He had completely extricated the metal plug, around the chain of which was tangled obscene amounts of hair, shampoo residue, and body sludge.  I tastefully vomited in the background.  Hooray, the tub drained properly again!  Showers no longer made me feel dirty!

Then, the sink got worse.  I complained to Nick after washing my face and being skeeved out by the water just sitting in the sink with my face dirt in it, so he formed a small solution that worked before: remove the metal plug!  Um ew.  So, so much worse than the tub!  The shiny “chrome” was black with assorted sludges – hands, faces, teeth, Listerine, wrung-out-washcloth juice, and there was a titanic lump of even more hair (how am I not bald?) with even more sludge all gelatinized and solidified around it.  I did my daily washing in the kitchen sink for a few days, thankyouverymuch.  I knew that there was no way that sink was getting cleaned unless we had rubber gloves of some kind.  I would vomit all over the place if I had to touch that foulness with my own fingers.

Finally today I brought home some gloves, and while Nick was at work I pulled the plug, stripped it of goobies, and reached as far down as I could, fishing out cold lumps of pure nastiness.  I couldn’t reach deep enough to get the worst of it, as evidenced by pouring more water and it flowing slowly, so I broke out the big guns.  I got a crochet hook, and a bottle of bleach!  Gagging a little, I hooked up more gunk and then flushed the pipes with bleach.  In the end, the bathroom sink ran perfectly, stopper or not, and the bathroom itself no longer smelled of rotting something.

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