When I am stressed, for example when I am fixing my previously abysmal resume, I crave to cook.  I feel a magnetic pull both toward and away from my computer.   I know I need to sit down and work on my resume, and I know that it could easily be completed in two hours, but I also want to cook, and then bake, and then consume the products of both.  This leads me to agitatedly spring out of my chair, wander through my kitchen, open the fridge and scan it, the freezer, the cupboards, only to complete the circuit and end back at my desk.  I sit back down, work on the document.  I open another tab, write part of a blog entry, check my email, check Facebook.  I go back to the resume.  I put cuticle oil on my nails.  I check my phone for texts, and try to distract myself from the panic that building my resume creates.  I work on the resume more.  I get up, stretch, and go distract Nikolai from his city builder game.  I go circle the kitchen again, and promise myself apple crisp when this is done.

 

I’m still doing my loops, but the sensation of dreadful panic has worn down.  Either it’ll come back and I just can’t sustain adrenaline flow for that long, or I’m honestly calming down.  I do hope it’s the latter.

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