I found a new class to take at the gym.  It’s called Teacher Makes Us Squat And Then We All Die.  Not really, it’s called like. . .Willpower and Grace or something enticing.  The teacher said for people that have never taken the class before, to stick with the Level 1 option that she provides for the different maneuvers.  Then there are Levels 2 and 3.
I believe I have mentioned previously that I am very competitive.  So competitive, in fact, that I stopped taking yoga classes because I would try to be bendier than the instructor, you know, the person who has been doing this daily for 5 years or so?  The person who. . . does yoga daily?  After pulled muscles galore, I decided to keep myself and my issues in the living room.  Even though I think Dooce and I could totally agree on this topic.
Anyway, I decided (wisely) to stay at Level 1, the level of wimps, beginners, pansies, pregnant women, and those with glaring physical wounds keeping them from being good enough.  It’s a good thing I did, too.  Because I can’t count the breaks I took, just standing still and gulping air while everyone else leapt lightly from toe to toe, swooped into a plie`, swung their arms with purpose on a diagonal line from their right toes to a point above their left shoulders, and used their “smart toes” to really grip the floor and stabilize themselves.