Amy: Dear distracting things, Stop Distracting ME!!!

 
me: dear amy, thanks but no. We would be shirking our duties if we stopped distracting you.
sincerely,
Things.

 

Amy: SCREW YOU, THINGS!

 

me: Dear Amy, once again thanks but no. We’re in a closed, committed relationship. You’re very flattering, though. We’ll call you if we’re ever single.
Love,
Things

 

Amy: Dear things, Goodbye I’ve just recieved a restraining order against you. Hope you enjoy that 500 feet.

 

me: we’re excited with our new space. We can use our fireworks and sparklers now! And ribbon-dancing and gymnastics. Enjoy focusing!

affectionately,
Things

 

Amy: Dear Jenna, Voice of the Things, You are coming close to being so annoying that I ignore you for a week. Just thought I’d give you waring.
Sincerely,
Amy

 

me: Dear Amy,
Speaking on behalf of Distracting Things, I would like to inform you that the restraining order won’t be necessary. We have a friend in Canada we’ll be visiting for the foreseeable future.
All the best,
Jenna and Things

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