I’ve tried to keep mostly quiet on the subject, because those who know me already know I love proper spelling and grammar and punctuation in speech and written language more than potatoes.  And because I will just end up ranting over someone’s feelings.   However, I cannot keep silent anymore on one subject, and that is the useless, pointless, senseless application of apostrophes.  It’s all over Facebook, and it’s driving me batty.  It’s as if no one remembers third grade, or even second grade, for that matter.  I clearly remember learning they’re, there, and their in second grade.  Also, we learned your, you’re, and yore.  However, the vast majority finds the words that sound alike to be substitutable in written form.

Pluralization or present tense are all given apostrophes.  Instead of “time flies by”, it becomes “time fly’s by”.  The only reason I am not putting corrective posts on Facebook is because it goes right next to my name, and it would be absurdly often, as well as rather cruel.  Here at least it gives me a tiny bit of a pseudonym, so I don’t have to worry about every member of my family, Nikolai’s family, and our collective friends reading and being offended by my pedantic need to correct grammar.

None of this is making sense, since it’s taken me three days to even finish this thing.  My point still stands, though.  Apostrophes are for contractions.  They are not for indicating tense, they prove possessives, and JUST STOP USING THEM WRONG OH NO IT’S IN MY HEAD THEY JUST KEEP HAPPENING AAAAAAHHHHHH