I did a parkour class today.  If you need me to wait while you Google it, that’s fine.

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all caught up?  Great.

I took a class at a gym owned by one friend from high school, and managed by another.  They happen to be brother and sister, which is cool.  It was a ladies only class, so that was also pleasant.  I have at least five bruises from my time there, the first occurring when I attempted to, as all the other ladies in my group had, run up a “warped” (curved) wall to grab a ledge and muscle myself up onto said ledge.  I failed and slid dramatically back down a few times; I think about four but in retelling it became six because that allowed me more sass-leverage over the instructor.  I banged my knee but good the first time, but at the end of every slide I did finish well, posing at the bottom in various ways: dead flail, savior on a cross, I’m a star, feel my shame.  Next up was vaulting, where I was supposed to use my arms to help propel me “safely” over a sort of triangular structure that resembled a long ziggurat mixed with a pommel horse.  After careening into/over that a few times, we got to try a different, taller vault with no padding on top.  sure, instructor who does this all day and has done for years, I’ll just run a short step up the side of this. . .thing? and flail on over.  It’s totally a natural maneuver!  It just feels right!  Then we ran at a wall, upon which I splatted and dangled, and got to scamper through an entire piece of scaffolding as we wished.  there were also large tires.  I ran around several obstacles, but I did do a poledancing twirl on one of the scaffolding uprights.  I’m pretty proud of that. I don’t know where all of my bruises will be when they finally color up, but I know that I will be doing that class again.  As long as the one teacher-fellow doesn’t make jokes about inevitable catfights to a group of women he’s just met.  All the vaulting and freerunning in the world will not get you safely away from a group of women you’ve just pissed off, Sweetcheeks. Best of luck and godspeed.

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