May 2014


As a teenager, I do not believe I ever imagined my late 20s self getting up excited on a Saturday. No less, getting up excited on a Saturday because I would be meeting friends at a farmers’ market before going to Zumba class at my women-only dance studio. 

  1. Wake up at a normal time
  2. Drive an hour to Dad’s
  3. get coffee at favorite coffee shop by his house
  4. Pick up Dad
  5. Get coffee on the way to the airport
  6. Chat nicely on the way
  7. Have an intense discussion about politics
  8. Drop Dad off at departure terminal
  9. Drive safely home
  10. Misread I-84 East as I-84
  11. Head toward the Columbia Gorge
  12. Figure it out
  13. Take the 122nd Ave Exit
  14. Read the sign for how to get back to 84 West
  15. Forget what the sign says immediately
  16. Turn around in the middle of the road (no one was there)
  17. Go past the off ramp
  18. Turn around in a nice little neighborhood
  19. READ THE DAMN SIGN
  20. READ IT OUT LOUD
  21. REPEAT IT YOU DOOFUS
  22. Take the correct turn
  23. make it home
  24. NEVER TAKE A NAP ALL DAY DANG IT

Today at Zumba class I clapped my hands so enthusiastically I burst a blood vessel in my hand. 

You know those days when your in-laws call to pop by and you’re excited to see them and all? But then you realize you need to put on pants and a bra, and resign yourself to the dirty dishes in the kitchen. That was my last ten minutes.