Before 10 o’clock a.m. this fine Thursday morning I have spoken with both my parents, at length, on the phone, completely separately, about facets of rape culture and our society.

I explained to my dad the basic fear all women feel, and how we all have to assume every man is a threat to us until proven otherwise, and that it wasn’t fair but it couldn’t change until everyone taught their children not to rape. He scoffed. He’s not a bad guy, he just doesn’t believe it. I think he would rather I wear modest clothing, as if sexual attraction was why rapes happened. As if I could ever protect myself enough to not “make” someone attack or rape me. So that was a fun start to the day.

Then my mother called and we chatted about things, eventually coming around to a friend who had ranted on Facebook about a marketing campaign that uses women to sell food. The women are never fully dressed, and mostly seem to be an attractive backdrop to the food that gets artfully, seductively dropped on various body parts. My mom also scoffed at the idea that the marketing campaign is affecting the friend’s daughter’s self-image, instead saying the parents are responsible for grounding the girl in a strong sense of her own attractiveness and worth. I mentioned that a woman can be told over and over she’s beautiful, but if she can never see a portion of herself reflected in the media and called beautiful, she’s not going to believe it completely.

What is even happening today that these conversations happened? Geez. It’s not the most fun I’ve ever had.