On this, most American of holidays, the one where we take a religious icon and . . . .drink in his honor? I like to make an Irish Car Bomb, or Irish Car Firecracker because I always do half measures. A bi of Irish whiskey in a shot of Irish cream, dropped into Irish Guinness and drunk as fast as possible.

It’s silly, but I do like it, on this day. Once a year. It makes me silly, and nostalgic for like, 3 years ago, but it’s a fun thing. Plus, the booze makes my fingers warm and assists me in ignoring the passage of time as I vacuum. You’d be amazed at how quickly stair vacuuming can go when one is gently “illuminated”. Happy holiday.

After weighing myself on a whim and discovering that my corporeal form’s relationship with gravity had become more loving when I wasn’t looking, I made a decision. More exercise! Less eating! Less drinking of not-water! I ate less ALL DAY TODAY and took an entire exercise class. After all that good behavior I really wanted something sweet so I mixed cranberry cocktail and 7 Up. I just need something sweet, you know?

I have added vanilla ice cream to an adult beverage in place of ice. Pros vs. Cons

Pro: It adds to the creamy deliciousness
Con: Ice cream has a lower freezing point and therefore does not chill as mightily as the cube o’ ice.

Pro: Ice cream is whimsical and amusing, allowing me to blog about it.
Con: Ice cream is technically fattening, since it has more calories than water, of which ice is made.

Pro: I find myself hilarious at this stage of numb lips and stuttering fingers.
Con: There are a lot of typos, and definitely familial/parental concern.

Pro: My drink was stronger by merit of not being diluted by water.
Con: My drink was strong by merit of not being diluted by water.

*end scene.*