I realized that very few people read this, mostly my aunt and uncle.  I don’t want to record my exercise or food, I don’t care about fashion.  I mostly care about ridiculous things happening in my life and how funny they are, and how amusingly they can be related.

For example: I am attempting to get good at making things with my hands, like food, and gifts, and helpful things like sweaters.  Also sock.  Note I said sock, not socks.  I have made roughly half of one sock, and given HOW BLOODY LONG  it takes to knit even one inch with the dang tiny needles and the dang tiny yarn and the dang tiny stitches I think I could knit another sweater (which I am) in the time it will take to make a pair of socks. And the last time I made a sweater, it took me a month of knitting along to watching How I Met Your Mother, all six seasons that were available on Netflix.  Obsessively.  Almost every night, and most weekends.  I don’t even know where I’m going with this, except maybe I’ll just tell stories to my aunt and uncle from here on out.  It works for me.

That first sweater?  I know which way is front by the left wrist cuff.  It’s tighter because I bound it off wrong but I don’t care enough to undo it and fix it, besides how else will I know which way it goes?

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I found a lovely knit sweater pattern which I knew would not fit me.  I made it anyhow because clearly I am smarter than a vintage sweater pattern.  I don’t even need to make sleeves.  I can make it a sweater-vest thing.  I can even add in extra panels on the sides and stitch them in at the end.  It won’t mess up the fit, it will make it perfect for me.  I won’t measure, I don’t even need to do that.

 

On an unrelated note, does anyone want a nice lavender sweater-vest?

I started a lovely sweater recipe that I found on someone’s blog (no really, I don’t know them at all) but it was for a vintage size, this weekend.  It was to be knit out of bulky yarn, that thick stuff that looks like skinny rope, or macrame` stuff.  It’s knit up quickly, given that I started it Saturday evening and it is now Monday evening.  My sad is not my pretty, soft, thick yarn or the speed of the project or my very obvious skill, my sad is that I took matters of sizing into my own hands, and now a lovely thing that ought to brush my hip bones is. . . looking like it will not.  Midway through one shouldery piece, which is at the top of the entire back of the thing that I’ve completed thus far, I have realized the sad truth.  this sweater will not work unless I undo the whole shebang and start again, this time being a good student and actually following the recipe.

(I say recipe because I can never seem to remember the word “pattern” in time to use it, and really they’re very similar in meaning.  I’ve given myself slack on this one, you should follow my good lead and do so, as well.  No, do it.  Go on, give me slack.  I’ll know when you do.  Ah, thank you.  Very kind.  Gracious, even.  Wise, benevolent, some would say.)

I have to rewind the yarn, and tug out all the soft, lovely stitches that I made using comically oversized needles that made such a nice clacky sound when I would hit a nice rhythm.  I am not great at rewinding yarn.  I make it too tight.  Also I wanted to wear my new sweater this week, and that is looking like less of a possibility.  I plan to dramatically sigh myself to sleep tonight, the better to impress upon Nick the desolation I feel.

I’m back addicted to knitting.  I got over it for a while because I felt so busy at work, and with work.  Now, thought, I have promised my dad a pair of fingerless gloves so I better make good on that.  I started that project Friday and have made good progress thus far.  It’s a fun pattern.  I also have recently become enamored of the idea of knitting myself socks.  I keep getting the craft newsletters that feature socks and shawls and sweaters and things, and I find myself drooling over the sock ideas.  I want to make myself tons of socks and maybe then some stockings or tights  and then maybe a sweater and or skirt or sweaterdress or cardigan or pretty lacy shawl and then I can make more of the one I like and then I can make myself all new clothes and they’ll be so pretty and it’ll be so fun. . . send help.

 

ed. note:  I spoke too soon.  There’s something to do with the thumb webbing part, but while it tells me to add stitches for that, it doesn’t tell me where, or how.  COME ON INTERNET HELP ME HERE.

I finished a legwarmer yesterday!  So, I have half of a set.  Now all I need to do is hurry up with the second warmer before I get bored and abandon the project.  Not that I would do that.  Nope, not ever.  No past precedent exists, like that Christmas stocking my husband requested that doesn’t have a heel because I don’t know how to turn heels and I had a pattern but I stopped following it ages ago and I’m sure there’s a better way . . . . No, I cannot be troubled to watch the video my aunt sent me, thank you!

 

Also, I should probably go to the gym one of these days, as I’m totally paying for it and still gaining size and weight.  Oh halp.

Like when I make pretty things that are girly, that is okay to me.  Pretty things like headband that I found the recipe for online make me happy to be girly.  My first headband attempt was just before going camping, and man that thing came in handy!  It got admired in the bathroom a lot, because I’d use it to hold my bangs back so they didn’t get exfoliated along with my face.  I had a few minor issues with it, so the second one I made today looks much more accomplished and complete.

see the pretty flower? I made that, too.

Here’s my camping headband, and it looked just lovely on Nick!  I’d take a picture of him like I promised, but he’s playing a game right now therefore Id’ have to hit him from across the room with my wireless mouse to get his attention, and then he’d be cranky from the hit and wouldn’t want to be a model anyway.   It kept my ears so warm on our morning hike o’ doom. . . .

The second headband I completed this morning, after starting it. . . this morning.  It’s not as long, so instead of a button and hole closure I just gave it some braided ties so the owner can adjust it at will.  This one is a gift for my mommy, for today is her birthday.  She’s 29, isn’t that great?  Happy birthday mommy!

gah it's perfect! Mom has a small head.

I made up that flower.  I didn’t know of any that I wanted to use, so I just goofed around until something worked.  After that, I used The Jilted Ballerina’s recipe for easy leaves to make two for the rose, and just pulled the tails through the underside of the flower and tied them on.  The most awesome part?

OMG LOOK AT IT

It’s detachable!  I sewed the whole business onto a safety pin so mom can have the plain band, or the decoration!  AAHHHHHH THE AWESOMENESS IT BUUUURNS

** end scene**

We’re going camping tomorrow!  We’re going to the coast with a few good friends and there will be much rejoicing in the land.  I’m leaving my sister my key. . . she’ll sit on my uncomfortable couch and eat all the cookies.  It’s the right thing to do in that situation.  I found a great recipe for a pretty headband/earwarmer thing and I made it for my undoubtedly greasy hair on the trip because I’m hardcore like that: I don’t shower on camping trips.  Well, I don’t shower during trips that last fewer than 5 days.  After that, the ew factor really kicks in and I at least need to find an ice-cold spigot and a washcloth and somewhere to drop off my dignity before bathing myself in shivering, partly-clothed pieces.

Anyway, back to my headband thing – I decorated it with a flower I made based off of Jilted Ballerina’s recipe for flower fridgies.  I added another row of double crochets to make one flower bigger, then I made another, original flower fridgie to stick in the middle of the bigger one.  Nick turned away from his game wherein he was totally kicking butt and exclaimed, he really did exclaim and Nick doesn’t really exclaim about stuff I’ve made unless it’s cookies or bacon but he did exclaim that it looked awesome.  so I made him try it on and he was just lovely.  I tried not to laugh.  Happy camping to us!